When You Have to Miss a Trip

Two weeks ago, I was supposed to check out Prague with the company I’m interning for, WSA Europe. Key words: Supposed to. Unfortunately, during my second week in Sevilla, I came down with a nasty head cold, augmented by asthma.  I was incredibly stressed and nervous about the trip (flight problems!) and feeling ill, and ultimately had to decide not to go.  I was absolutely exhausted, had a lot of trouble breathing, and my immune system was down. It was not the time for me to travel, exhaust myself further, and get even sicker.

It was a really difficult call for me to make, and one I did not want to make.  This isn’t the first time I’ve been ill abroad. I had strep throat in Mexico and stomach bugs in Spain. I’ve been exhausted to the point of deciding not to do something awesome because I don’t want to push myself too far, but this was different. I was alone and really wanted to visit a cool city with my fellow WSA interns. I wanted to be a part of it, but I could only be apart from it due to my physical state. The last few weeks took a lot out of me, traveling and then being in a less than ideal homestay, and then having to cancel the trip sort of felt like being defeated, in a way. 

The entire weekend, while API went to Granada for two days and WSA Europe tore up Prague, I stayed in bed to sleep, only leaving to try to get ahold of a darn textbook for my poetry class, which evaded me.  I got much needed rest and an endless supply of tissues for my cold. 

My head cleared up just before I left for Lisbon, though I still have a cough and some lung troubles as I sit here writing this post in a cute little café down the block from my new homestay.   Looking back on the lost weekend, I am glad I took the time to rest, particularly as my condition worsened over the next few days—I was utterly useless in that period of time.  I still feel like I missed out on Prague, and can only hope I’ll get to go in the future.  It’s emotionally hard to miss a trip because I feel like I only have so much time here in Europe, and I need to maximize my time here, as if I’m not coming back. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, though I know I will, and who knows what obligations I will have when I do return!? Sometimes I feel guilty for not going out at night or on the weekends, though clubbing/going out drinking is not something I enjoy, and the meals my host mom makes are so delicious! I have long days of classes and some work to do, and I’m often tired. I like to bike around, explore the park, and read on the steps by the river while the sunsets, but it feels like a chore to explore sometimes since so much of the city is far away, at least it seems so to my tired self.  That, coupled with feeling guilty over missing a really great opportunity, is tough.

The bottom line is that it’s okay to not go on a trip, to take a step back and take care of yourself when you need to, and you need to learn when to do this. Travel is not easy on your mind or body, contrary to popular belief.  It’s a lot of work, effort, and energy.  For now, I just have to think that I will visit, and absolutely enjoy, Prague when the universe wants me to.